Resolution <Alice>

[Jasper Whitlock Hale]

Even having waited a bit after his earlier exchange of words with Alice, it was easy enough to follow her scent; it was practically imprinted on his brain. Jasper made his way through the forest at a leisurely pace, leisurely for a vampire at least. To human eyes he would have been little more than a blur. As he approached the strong concentration of Alice's scent, Jasper slowed to a walk. He wasn't quite certain what he was going to say to her but he needed to say something. What he asked her earlier had been completely inappropriate. Things were so awkward between them now after having been so close for so long. Of course that was to be expected. All Jasper knew was that they needed to come to some kind of understand because the awkwardness between them was causing stress within the family, not to mention hurting both of them.

Pausing for a moment, Jasper leaned against a large evergreen and thought back through the years, the decades. Alice had been with him for a third of his life. It was her presence, her guidance, support and love that made him into the man he was now. Jasper shuddered to think where or what he might be if it hadn't been for Alice. That thought brought with it another wave of guilt. After all she had done for him and he upped and left her. The thing was that no one can control who they fall in love with. If anyone had said a year ago that Jasper would leave Alice, he would have rolled his eyes. If the same person had said that he would fall in love with someone else, he would have thought they were crazy. Yet here he was, parted from Alice and deeply in love with Bella. Of course that wasn't to say that he did still love Alice too because he did, only not in the same way he once had. Jasper would always want the best for her, would always want her to be happy, always want her to be loved. It seemed that would be Edward's duty now, which created a tiny spark of jealousy within Jasper. That could well be the reason he had spoken the way he had to Alice. What he needed to remember though was that he had left her, not the other way around.

Drawing a deep, steeling breath, Jasper held it for a moment then released it slowly. He couldn't put this off any longer. Pushing away from the tree he continued forward until he saw Alice perched on the top of a large boulder. She looked so tiny there, so fragile. Jasper knew that she wasn't though; Alice was as tough and durable as he was. As he drew closer he cleared his throat despite knowing that she was well aware of his presence. Jasper dipped his head slightly and released a soft sigh. "Alice… I'm sorry. I apologize for being a jerk. Actually, I'm… I'm sorry for a lot of things. This isn't how I ever would have guessed we would end up." Jasper shook head then looked up at her on the stone. "I hope you know that I never meant to hurt you. That's the last thing I ever wanted."

[Alice Cullen]

She knew he was coming, she saw in her eyes that he made up his mind to come and see what was going on with her. She didn’t want him to come but at the same time she did, she knew from the beginning that he was going to fall for the girl who was to become her best friend, the girl whom she considered as her sister. She only did what she did because she loved him… she couldn’t lose him, she helped him be different than what he was, she was there for him when he felt that no one else would be… and she lost him.

She smelled his scent when he was close; she had ran to get away from him after earlier. She couldn’t help but to be a bit of a smart ass to him, she was hurt, she was upset, she didn’t know how else to act. She still loved Bella just as before and it was hard to look at her differently considering the fact that she was always there to help her out. She tensed when his voice was heard in her ears

"Alice… I'm sorry. I apologize for being a jerk. Actually, I'm… I'm sorry for a lot of things. This isn't how I ever would have guessed we would end up. I hope you know that I never meant to hurt you. That's the last thing I ever wanted."

She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, she heard his words, find and she knew he was going to say something close to them before he even spoke but… she didn’t care. She tried to do something about it earlier but it didn’t work so there was no point in this anymore. “I just want you to be happy Jasper, I can see now that you can accomplish that by being with Bella. It’s not like I do not understand.” She understood. She understood that what she did wasn’t right, she understood that she had a choice and she chose selfishly but that’s what happens when you’re in love right?

She wanted to feel that warmness of a tear roll down her cheek; he probably could feel her emotions since that was his ability. She had helped him understand it and control it and she was sure that he knew how she felt but she didn’t want him to feel that she wanted to cry, Not over this. She looked over her shoulder at him “Happiness is what counts. That’s what I saw in your future with Bella and that’s I want for you Jasper Hale. Happiness, you deserve it.” She smiled at him… or something close to a smile.

[Jasper Whitlock Hale]

The way Alice closed herself off to him after he spoke felt like a physical blow. Of course Jasper couldn't blame her. He had hurt her, and he seemed to be compounding that hurt with careless words. Now she was telling him that she wanted him to be happy. Jasper could sense the sincerity of the sentiment but at the same time he felt her pain and it tore at him. "I want you to be happy too, Alice. And… I hope you know that I was happy with you. I didn't even know what happiness was until I met you." Jasper didn't know if he was saying too much, or not enough, all he truly knew was that he needed Alice to understand that she was still important to him, that he still cared about her, even still loved her, though not in the same way.

For a moment he watched her, perched on the rock. It was clear that Alice was trying to hold her emotions in check. She had always been the independent type. Jasper wanted nothing more than to temper her pain but somehow it didn't seem… right? Or rather he wasn't certain that his efforts would be appreciated. There was no question that Alice was trying to be brave, no doubt trying to protect him from the pain she was feeling. Pain that he had caused her. Before Jasper finished his internal debate as to whether he should affect a shift in Alice's emotions, she began to speak again. She continued on talking about happiness being what she wanted for him, how it was what she thought he deserved. Out of everything she said there was one phrase that stood out above the rest. That's what I saw in your future with Bella. "When exactly did you see me with Bella?" The words escaped Jasper's lips before he even thought about composing the question. Once it was spoken however the notion wouldn't leave his mind.

[Alice Cullen]

"I want you to be happy too, Alice. And… I hope you know that I was happy with you. I didn't even know what happiness was until I met you."

She shook her head, why would he even say something like that to her? She didn’t want to hear that he was happy with her, she didn’t want or need to hear that he didn’t know what happiness was until her because it made her think as if she only got him out of his killer ways to help him fall in love with someone else. “It was nothing… you needed someone to befriend you and that’s what I did. I did what anyone could have done.”

"When exactly did you see me with Bella?"

She gasped softly, barely making a sound. She hadn’t meant to say that to make him ask about that one, she knew, she saw in the beginning about Bella being in their lives, she saw that Jasper was going to fall in love with her… how was she supposed to tell him that? She didn’t want to make him upset with her because she knew about this. She gracefully stood to her feet, turned and looked at him; taking a deep breath she landed her own bronze eyes on his… “I knew when Bella first came to Forks… I saw that you were going to fall in love with her.” That’s all she had planned on telling him, she couldn’t bring herself to tell him all that she did…

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Sorry for it being so short, I couldn't get a good muse.

[Jasper Whitlock Hale]

There was no question that Alice was unhappy with what he'd said. Then again Jasper had expected as much. That was the main reason he had stopped talking. Lately it felt like everything he did was wrong. Every action he made, every word he spoke, backfired. It was particularly hard being around Alice now. For so long she had been the center of his world but he didn't know how to act around her anymore. There was really no doubt that she felt the same way, though as always she attempted to remain the ever-bright light in the family. Of course the difficulties between Jasper and Alice also made the rest of family ill at ease. The only one he truly felt comfortable with, who felt comfortable around him, was Bella. For a split second he allowed himself to think of her, to take comfort in the fact that they were growing closer, coming to an understanding.

Alice's response to his words brought Jasper out of his thoughts. What she said was something of a shock. Beyond that they were somewhat painful. It was nothing. That wasn't true in the least, Jasper knew that and he knew Alice did, as well. After a moment of consideration he came to realize that she was saying what she needed to say. She was protecting herself. Jasper nodded slowly, bowing his head slightly, averting his gaze. He wanted to say more, wanted to tell her that it was something, that it was everything from his perspective. Despite his desire to tell her, Jasper held his comments. He had never wanted to hurt her but he had. Now all he could do was try not to hurt her any more. Instead he waited for her response to his question.

Though quiet he had of course heard Alice's inhalation of breath. Moreover he felt her surprise. Apparently she hadn't intended to let him know she'd had advanced knowledge that he would fall in love with Bella. Jasper's brow furrowed as he tried to wrap his head around that. If Alice had known then she could have stopped everything that happened. Everything they had been through, everything Bella had suffered. All of it could have been avoided. Jasper turned his gaze back to Alice, staring at her for a long moment. There was something in her eyes, something that gave him the impression that there was more to the story than she had said. It wasn't often that Alice ever kept something from him but there had been a few occasions and this was one of them. For her sake he didn't want to push her but at the same time he felt like he needed to know, like he had to know. "When she first came to Forks? I don't understand."

[Alice Cullen]

"When she first came to Forks? I don't understand."

She knew that he didn’t understand but she didn’t want to explain it, it made her look like the bad guy and she just hated that fact. Shaking her head she tried to get her mind around the fact that he had a right to know and she was obligated to tell him, standing to her feet she looked at him, she felt like crying but of course vampires can cry just without tears. She had to tell him now “I… I always knew that Bella was going to come to Forks, I always knew that she was going to join us as vampires, I also knew that you were going to fall in love with her.” She couldn’t see any reaction from him yet and it scared her to find out what it was, she cared for him for so long that she couldn’t let him go easily, not to the human girl who was going to tear them apart. “I told Edward… I wanted him to get her to fall in love with him and she did but… it turns out her love for you overpowered her love for him. I couldn’t and I can’t interfere now…”

She turned her back on him again, she sobbed without the tears of course. She hated the fact that she knew the future, she hated the fact that she couldn’t cry like she wanted too but her history was always a black shadow to her, she didn’t know how or when she was turned or even how old she was but what she really wished was that she wasn’t changed so she would never find him, so she couldn’t fall in love with him only to be hurt.

[Jasper Whitlock Hale]

The depth of emotions coming from Alice was painful. She was hurting like Jasper had never felt her hurt before and it was like torture not soothing her pain, especially when he knew that he was the cause. He wanted to more than anything in that moment but it didn't seem right. Alice had a right to her pain and maybe it was something she needed to feel. That it was hurting him was beside the point. Then when she started to speak it was all Jasper could do to try to comprehend what she was saying. I always knew. I always knew. I always knew. More than anything it was a struggle to get past those first words. Eventually the rest of what Alice said filtered through his brain. Surely she didn't mean always.

It was a slow building fear that drew Jasper's attention away from his thoughts. His lifted his gaze to Alice, staring at her as she started to speak again. That seemed to answer part of questions in his mind. Finally looking away, Jasper shook his head. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Alice had asked Edward to make Bella fall in love with him? If she was trying to alter the course of her vision wouldn't it have made more sense to make sure none of them had anything to do with her? At that moment that was not the most pressing concern.

When Alice turned away her shoulders began to shake and though she couldn't emit tears there was no question that she was crying. Jasper could feel her conflicting emotions, all of her pain, all of the love she felt for him. He knew that Alice stilled loved him and it pained him greatly that his feelings for her had changed. She had done so much for him, meant so much to him. Alice had been the most important thing in his life for what had begun to seem like forever. Feeling her pain now only amplified his own. After a long moment Jasper moved forward on silent feet until he stood directly behind Alice. Her tiny frame was still shuddering with sobs.

Closing his eyes he didn't think about what he was doing he just lifted his hands to Alice's shoulders and turned her around to face him. Maybe it wasn't the right the thing to do, maybe he was making yet another mistake but Alice didn't deserve what had happened and Jasper couldn't help but try to comfort her. Pulling her closer he wrapped his arms around her and held her gently against his chest. "I'm sorry. I wish…" he paused and shook his head. "Honestly I don't know what I should wish for. That you'd never seen me so you wouldn't have looked for me and I wouldn't have hurt you like this. Wish that my feelings for you had never changed. That my feelings for Bella…" Jasper stopped again, his expression pain. If it had been possible then he would have been crying, too. "Alice, I do wish with every fiber of being that I hadn't hurt you. If there was any way to take that back I would."

[Alice Cullen]

She couldn't help it anymore, she just dry sobbed uncontrollably and she just felt everything stop when she felt his hands on her shoulders. She was almost tempted to turn around in anger and push him away, she didn't want him to touch her! Before she could react out of anger he turned her around to face him. She was angry at him she told herself, she was hurt and angry but she did feel guilty of course but her anger over shadowed everything at the moment.

He had pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her and held her gently against his chest. She had to admit that it was soothing, his touch, as she continued to sob her emotions confusing her and giving her what could have been an headache she buried her head in his chest.

"I'm sorry. I wish… Honestly I don't know what I should wish for. That you'd never seen me so you wouldn't have looked for me and I wouldn't have hurt you like this. Wish that my feelings for you had never changed. That my feelings for Bella…"

Her shoulders stopped moving, why must he continue to ruin it? She just felt everything was wrong now, she felt it was wrong from the beginning, she stiffened in his arms as he continued to speak

"Alice, I do wish with every fiber of being that I hadn't hurt you. If there was any way to take that back I would."

She never thought that she would grow angry or frustrated with the man who used to be her husband. She pulled out his grasp and looked at him, her golden eyes on him staring as she allowed him to feel the mixture of emotions she was feeling. Anger, hurt, guilt... everything was swimming inside of her and she wanted him to know that's how she felt. "Stop saying that, you say that but it's not how you feel is it? You love her and it was wrong of me to try and change that, to keep it from happening. Of course my visions change but that one never did... I had no right. You can't take it back and neither can I... we were doomed from the beginning." It hurt her to say this but what else could she do? He was in love with someone else who was not her and she didn't want him to pain over her, she never wanted Jasper in pain and that's why she helped him when they first met. "You're happy Jasper, and I know I keep saying that but what else can I say?" she looked at him with a pained expression on her face trying to make it look okay because she saw that anymore pain etched on her would make him feel even worse.

[Jasper Whitlock Hale]

Jasper could, of course, sense everything that Alice was feeling. He knew that she was hurt, had known that since this all started. She was angry, which she had every right to be. Jasper had pledged his life to her, had promised her an eternity. That promise had fallen more than a little short. He had half expected her to push him away as soon as he tried to pull her in but instead Alice pressed into his chest and allowed him to offer the comfort he so badly needed to provide. For a moment it seemed to make a difference, at least until he continued speaking. Jasper felt the shift in her emotions even before her dry sobs abruptly stopped and she pulled away. He didn't try to hold her, would never try to force anything upon her.

Alice wasn't trying to shield her emotions as she had attempted on many occasions, always trying to keep him from pain. She wasn't trying to protect him now and for that Jasper was glad. As much as it hurt him, he needed to know just what she was feeling. He stood at a distance as Alice spoke, listening to what she said. We were doomed from the beginning. Those words spoken in the hurt tone of what was usually a bright, happy voice was without a doubt the most painful thing Jasper had ever experienced. Far more painful than every bite he had ever suffered combined. Were it possible, once again his eyes would have been filled with tears. Even so, all things considered, it seemed the words were true. For a long moment he stood there, trying to determine the best possible response. Maybe what Alice needed was for him to simply keep his mouth shut. To bow his head in a display of the guilt and sorrow he felt and not say a word.

Unfortunately Jasper couldn't bring himself to leave it there. "I do love her," he admitted, dipping his head slightly, unable to look at Alice as he spoke the words. "But regardless of my feelings for Bella, hurting you is not something I ever wanted. Maybe it doesn't matter but I don't hold anything against you, Alice. You had every right to be happy, to try to stay happy." Lifting his gaze Jasper met hers and continued. "And you don't need to try to shield me from your pain. You don't need to protect me anymore. It's time you started thinking more about yourself, to live your life for you. I want you to be that amazingly brilliant girl who gave a monster hope. The one who helped him become more than he ever thought himself capable of being.

"Maybe you're right, maybe we were doomed. Gods knows I never deserved you," Jasper went on, bowing his head again. "I will never forget everything you've done for me. I don't know why I was blessed to have ever had you in my life but I'm grateful for everything we shared. And… I'm just going to leave you alone now before I make things worse. Take care, Alice, and know that… should you ever need me… I'll be there for you." Closing his eyes Jasper turned slowly back the way he'd come.

[Alice Cullen]

"I do love her,"

She closed her eyes, she knew that and she didn't want to hear it again and when he said about not hurting her, she knew that he was going to say that but it didn't matter, it did hurt and he didn't seem to understand that well he did but he continued to tell her and no longer would she try to shield her pain from him anymore if he didn't want her too, she almost wanted to yell at him.

"I will never forget everything you've done for me. I don't know why I was blessed to have ever had you in my life but I'm grateful for everything we shared. And… I'm just going to leave you alone now before I make things worse. Take care, Alice, and know that… should you ever need me… I'll be there for you."

She watched him as he began to walk away, there was no point in trying to stop him after what he had just said. He felt that he didn't deserve her in the first place, that he was blessed for her ever to be there, she felt the same way he did. After what she had done to keep him away from who he really loved she felt that she was wrong, she was the one who felt that she didn't deserve him, she was the one who felt blessed to be in love with such a man, a man who wanted to be more than what he ever was. Running her hands through her hair she tried to keep herself from dry crying again "I'll be there for you too Jasper and let Bella know that none of this is her fault and I still love her. It- it just may take some time getting... getting over this. Please tell her that for me." she turned her back on him and waited to no longer feel his presence with her anymore.

[Jasper Whitlock Hale]

Jasper could feel the pain Alice experienced at his admission even if it was clear that she had already known it was true. Again, if it were possible, his face would have been soaked with tears. Instead of having that outlet however Jasper could only just close his eyes and feel the pain they were both currently suffering. For a moment he wondered why it was hurting so much. Yes he still loved Alice but not in the way he once had. This was more than simply experiencing her pain though. He didn't want to leave but didn't know what else to do. Everything he tried only seemed to make it that much worse.

When Alice spoke again, Jasper stopped, his head slightly bowed, shoulders not quite as square as they usually were. He wanted to turn around but decided against that. If Alice wanted to look at him she would say so or she would come around to face him. Her words were comforting and he certainly understood that it would take time for all of them to come to terms with what happened. Further, it was nice to hear that Alice didn't hold anything against Bella. Jasper wanted to ask her to talk to Bella, to tell her those things herself because he knew how much guilt she carried, but it seemed a little cruel to expect that.

As she finished speaking he could tell that she turned away, not only because of the difference in her voice but also because he felt her close herself off to him. Could feel the wall she had erected where there had once been no barrier. Releasing a sigh Jasper nodded. "Thank you, Alice. I will tell her." With that said he opened his eyes and continued forward, knowing that a new chapter in his life had truly begun. He walked at a human pace for a good mile, unable to leave Alice behind any more quickly. Jasper truly hoped that there would come a day when they could put everything behind them and be friends.